100

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1100

1300

1500

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1900

Okay, that’s enough pixels

2300

2500

2700

Size doesn’t matter… right?

3100

3300

3500

3700

Whatever, I’m tired

>

Index

>

Playground

>

Resume

Chapter 1.

I thought I was

a bad designer.

For more than ten years I believed the problem was simple: I was a bad designer. Not untalented or stupid, just someone who couldn’t work like everyone else.

The pattern repeated at every job. A project would start, the task was clear, the file was open, and I would sit in front of the screen unable to begin. Hours passed while I moved things around, opened random tabs, and tried to force myself to start. Eventually the same explanation appeared in my head: maybe I was just lazy, or lacked discipline.

What made it confusing was that sometimes everything worked. Right before a deadline I could suddenly design for hours, producing ideas and entire screens in one intense stretch. The work was good, sometimes very good.

Which made the real question unavoidable: if I was capable of doing the work, why couldn’t I do it consistently?

For years I assumed the problem was my character. It took me a long time to realize the issue wasn’t effort or talent, but the way my brain handles attention and motivation.